Bitingly Truthful

This will be the title of a blog post I will be writing through the course of this week. It will be, lovely.

My "What I Believe" Paper

Just thought it was funny. 

Joshua Nightingale

Mrs. Edwards

7 October 2011

AP Lang

I Procrastinated

            I am a procrastinator, and for you hipsters who do not know what this means, the definition of procrastination is to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done. Literally, right now I am writing something that is due in 4 hours. I had a week and waited to the last 240 minutes to work on it. I also have another paper to write after this, but I can probably get them both done in the next 2 hours. I wonder what is happening on Facebook.

            I believe in procrastinating. The reason I procrastinate is that I have to hit the right mood to start writing. “’What mood is that?’ ‘Last minute panic.’’(Calvin and Hobbes: The Days Are Just Packed)  I do everything better when I am in last minute panic mode. This is a better written paper because it is dark outside, and it is supposed to be turned in by midnight. If I wrote this paper earlier, it would not be as good.

            This is the second time I have written a paper over procrastination. The last one was written last week in the class before it was due; I found out later that day that I didn’t even need to turn it in. I have also noticed that procrastinating has become very main stream. I am confident nobody in my class started this assignment the day we were supposed to.

Procrastination is amazing because it lets you do things that do not matter instead of doing things that do matter; Things that matter tend to be boring, therefore, I procrastinate. Maybe that is the reason I do not have straight A’s. In my opinion, if someone has straight A’s, they are not living life to the fullest. Go outside or something!

Another reason I procrastinate is that it makes me feel like I am living life on the edge. Rushing to turn a paper in at the last second is adrenalin pumping.

My teacher has a list of stuff I need to put into this paper. One of the things on said list is a joke, so here goes. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. I am very literal and also, I am pretty sure that this paper is a giant paradox.

Procrastinating is satisfying. Knowing I have finished something seconds before it is due is much more fulfilling to me than having a crap-load of free time after I finish something. Procrastination is like the people that walk a marathon. They did not try their best or anything, but they still finished, and I’m almost positive that no one likes someone that does not finish what

Texting about Ferrari cars.

Tim-"I just saw and took a picture of a Ferrari."
Shua-"Yeah!"
Tim-"That picture is now my phone background."
Shua-"Apparently, now you are cooler than me."
Tim-"Why, have you not seen a Ferrari?"
Shua-"Duh I've seen a Ferrari! I lived in San Fran and LA. And I own 5."
Tim-"After you bought them from me."
Shua-"After I bought them back from you."
Tim-"After I made them."
Shua-"After I hired you."
Tim-"After I gave birth to you."
Shua-"WOAH. I'm adopted?
Tim-"Yeah."
Shua-"This is going on my blog."
Tim-"Awesome. Put it on Facebook, too."
Shua-"Yup."

The Runner pt. 3

I ran. I ran as fast as I ever have In my life. I turn the corner onto Elm Street, my heart beating faster every painful step I take. The loud sirens get closer and closer, red and blue lights flashing everywhere behind me. 'They know it wasn't me.' I think as I run to the playground. 'They know I didn't do it. Why me? It. wasn't. me.' I duck into a secluded hidden corner of the playground equipment, curl up, and wait for the end of my life.

25 greatest unscripted lines

 Your gonna wanna see this with annotations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTFQBHBeleE&feature=player_embedded

#ReplaceBandNamesWithPancakes

A top used hashtag on 8-14-11. This is my list of ones that I came up with.

pancakes - coldplay
jars of pancakes - jars of clay
pancakes kings - crash kings
Upancakes - U2
Vampire pancakes - vampire weekend
pancakes city - owl city
Lincoln pancakes - Lincoln Brewster
Eric pancakes - Eric Clapton
Eric Pancakes - Eric Johnson
Panda pancakes - panda resistance
The pancakes - the beatles
Weird pancakes - weird al
Young the pancakes - young the Giant
lady pancakes - lady gaga
pink pancakes - pink floyd
the rolling pancakes -  the rolling stones
P.O.pancakes - P.O.D.
pancakes land - sugarland
modest pancakes - modest mouse

yeah, this one got boring fast... sorry for a boring post.

Harry Potter 7 1/2 midnight experience

This blog post is different. I'm actually documenting something. And sorry for not blogging recently. Nothing happens during the summer. Here we go.

7:52 to 8:01 Thursday the 14 of July.

The documenting begins. I've been here since six twenty, and I definitely did not need to come 6 hours early, because I was the 20th in line. I am now 15th in line. No joke. There are now almost 40 people here. WAIT. Now it's 43.  Ok. Was on the floor, then everybody scooted up to keep the line inside, and I conveniently have a bench all to myself now. I know no one here. Yet. I just read over this, there is no excitement. I'm gonna start using exclamation points! Makes it exiting! Happy! You know! Maybe you don't... You know what? Head count. No guesses. 39. Off by 4. Oh poop.

8:12

47

8:50 to 9:03

56, my favorite number. Well, I like this line. For some reason, I haven't gotten bored yet. I've read all the books before, don't worry, I've been a fan for years, so don't think I'm spoiling it for myself. It's  sort of fun to read the second half of the 7th book waiting to see the movie. I've read a total of something like 53 pages. And this movie is gonna be great. There are now 60 people inside, and the outside line began about 42 seconds ago. 106.9 has been out there for a while, but they haven't done anything. I have a weird mood for Joe Satriani and Eric Johnson. They rock. I found a cut out o the Smurfs. These smurfs have been staring at me for hours. Just. Staring.

9:10

Officially too many people  to count from where I am. So, like, infinity.

9:34 to 9:38

Last time I went to a premier, they let us into the theater 2 hours early. Hopefully, that is the case here. Have to pee, but did like 20 minutes ago, and don't wanna look like an idiot. Don't  wanna be called, "That weird kid with the bladder  problems." I've listened to cliffs of Dover about 30 times now. It's great. There are definitely hundreds of people here now. Out the door, and way a way. I am now 18th. I'll pee in like 20 minutes.

9:50

Peeing

9:51

Still peeing

9:52 to 10:03

So this group next to me decided to pull out an iPad and go crazy with the photo booth. Also found another group of Smurfs staring at me. Total of 12 Smurfs Ah. Now purposely looking around the room for staring Smurfs, now a total of 16. It makes me feel good to know that 16 cardboard Smurfs are looking at me at every moment. Watching my back, if I turn it towards them. Abu Dhabi is probably really nice this time of year. Still not bored. Finished the rest of the book, from where I started which was basically half way into what the movie will be. So, I watched half of the movie, but it was in my head.

10:25 to 10:29

Seating in like 30 minutes. And have drank 96 ounces of iceless dr. Pepper. Maybe why I have to pee again. I'll probably go once more before the movie. Everyone that I know that went hours early are at the theater across town, with two theaters showing it. Still don't know anyone here. I know this joke might be old now, but I'm not joking now. I found 3 more Smurfs. 19 Smurfs. at least their smiling happily. battery life is resting on like 40% now.

10:42

This movie better make my mind equal blown. 30%

11:09 to 11:11

In theater. Comfiest chairs ever. Like, ever ever.The theater seats 304. Using simple estimation, the screen is close to 40 feet across.

11:24 to 11:26

Just peed again. Oh man, that was relieving. Just held in a sneeze.

11:44 to 11:45

If I did the math right, we all got 1
7 minutes to wait. Woo! Previews are the best. Can't wait! Winnie the pooh is gonna be great. I need to see it soon. These looping commercials are to die for. Literally. They suck so bad, I may just die.

11:54

I would like to throw something at the screen, to make a scene.

11:56

The cellphone turnoff thing just came on. Bye. Feature presentation time.

2:25

It was hilarious, actiony and overall pretty good. Keeping it short. 3 1/2 out of 4. Good night world! Goodbye harry potter. Live on in our hearts, forever. Ok bye.

A Moment of Amazement

I saw this, and 4 minutes in, literally noticed my mouth half opened, astounded at what I saw. Give it a second to start. These are the kind of things that wanna make me go into film and movie much more than I already do.

Ransom Riggs, you are the bomb.

Politics and Music (Make music, not enemies)

This is a good as time as ever to tell you that you may not get everything I say. This is basically the train of consciousness of mine over a few topics. To start, the things that fly through my head when I'm sitting at dinner, or sky diving, are usually very extensive. Like, literally scientific. It's hard to explain.

This could easily be the longest blog post I have done or may ever do, but I am tired, so, ill just type 'till I pass out from exhaustion, I guess. Ok. Now for... Politics!
Truly, this is probably awful, but, you know. Just being me. I have no political views. And I'm not some person that is against politics, 'cause I know it's vital for the further of this beautiful country, but, I just couldn't care less. I am not a strong Communist, but, yeah, I just wouldn't care. I might vote for the person that makes me laugh the most with their speeches. Yeah, basically politics is just a great way to make enemies. Make music, not enemies.

The Reason for this maybe being so long is my views on music. I could write as many paragraphs there are suns in our solar system all about music.

Ok, so music. Music is awesome. I love music. I play guitar, sort of piano, and I also play the kazoo. I love all kinds of music, except for, wait, yeah I like country too. WHOA. Found one I don't like. Screamo. Heavy metal. I can appreciate their music sure, but it just is not even close to my favorite. I can't name all my favorites. I just tried, you know, in the past. Like 5 seconds ago from when I typed this, and gave up. Too many bands. TRAIN. I do like Train, and Owl City, John Mayer, Cold play, the Beatles, U2, tobyMac, Ryan Adams, Mandy Moore, Everybody else on my iPod, and many more! I feel like an infomercial.

Back to the topic of music, UGH. I felt like talking about music a while ago, but now, the easter egg of todays post, a scientific thought with Shua Nightingale.

Our eyes see at approximately at a rate of 30 frames per second. In the state of adrenalin, It speeds up to about 60, giving us two times the, crap. One second.

FACT- Ok. If you see at a frame rate of 30 for, lets say 10 seconds. that feels like 10 seconds. Ok?
Now, when in adrenalin, 60 frames per second, 10 seconds fells like it doubles to 20 seconds, giving our mind the power to think faster, well, adrenalin is technically when, lets say your friend gets trapped under a fallen tree, adrenalin just puts almost all of the blood from places you aren't using it at the moment, such as your digestive system, to places you desperately need it to save someone or yourself. Yep. So to help you think faster, all the blood goes to our brain, giving it the power to think about twice as fast, thus making it feel like time is moving in slow motion. But usually, in the state of adrenalin, you aren't thinking, "whoa, everything is slow-motiony!" Well, It does. I mean, your brain, speeding up. Ok.
Shua thoughts- If some people have better hearing, and some people have worse (being born, that is), this must mean that things like the frames per second our eyes see at varies a little too. Average means, average. That also means that there are people that are out there that see at 32, or 27, or 35. Just say, if you are sitting next to someone that has the average, 30, and you have, lets say, 33, this means that you are thinking faster than them by .019 seconds faster than them.

EXAMPLE- if you guys did a math problem, 1+1, the other person completes it in lets say, 2 seconds,  you would have completed it in 1.91 seconds. This, of course leads to things like reflexes, sports, patience, and such. I dunno, just sayin'.

Ya know, It's very difficult to type what I think. Gosh, I'll probably pass out soon. Whoo... Tough thinking.

Sorry if you didn't understand anything. This is probably the only complex post I'll post.

Thanks, bye!

Easter and Toy's "R" Us

Easter is here! Celebrate the rise of the king of kings! With thousands of eggs! And a bunny that no one has ever seen! Where is the world going if we are so desperate to eat candy we have to come up with excuses about a bunny laying eggs full of candy, and, and pooping jelly beans? This is ridiculous. It's easily one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

Sheen (Jimmy Neutron) - "No! This is the stupidest thing you ever heard! GABABLAGGALAGGALA!!!"

[Side Note]
The Suggested words (Red Squiggly Line) that come up when I typed that weird screaming thing Sheen does include:

• LAGGARDNESS
• EXTRAGALACTIC
• GALAPAGOS
• LALLYGAGGING

Back to the topics at hand, and if you didn't know, with the exception of 'Chuck Norris and Pie,' I make the topics up before I start wr... excuse me, typing them. Ok. Toy's "R" Us.

I realized, about a week ago, that the R in Toy's "R" Us is mirrored to look like, a backwards R... And why are there "quotation marks" around it? Its ridiculous. You could confuse the crap out of English "majors" if you just randomly use "them" everywhere. By the way, I know it's us as in a group of people, but it's funnier if you think of it as United States. Why is it funnier? Cause the USA doesn't do squat. I think 99% of all things are made in China, .5% of everything else is made in Taiwan, and everything else is a mix of everywhere else, except the USA! I think the only thing that I've seen that was made by the "USA" was  a McDonald's Double Quarter Pounder. It says so on the tag they put on the "patty."

Typewriters

My favorite subject. Typewriters. 

1. They are very heavy. Make grand weapons.
2. They cure about any unhappy feeling, except for Tarzan Flu.
3. They sometimes have the ability to fly. Sometimes.
4. I can't wait for them to come out with the iTypewriter.
5. Typewriter is the longest word you can spell with only one line of keys on the keyboard.
6. You just looked.
7. ...

Typewriters are awful subjects to write blog posts over. Sometimes I just wan't to jump off a typewriter. 

Hehe, never mind, they are amazing. 

I need a box of typewriters so I could say, "Hey! I got a box of typewriters!"

New topic time, uh...

Easter

Easter is a good subject. Aww golly. this is officially the worst post ever. 

New topic, ok.

Giving up

Best thing ever.

Chuck Norris and Pie

A poem for the most amazing human alive.

Chuck Norris, you are taller than a microwave.

You are smaller than the average elephant.

You don't have to shave.

You never say, "I can't"

You always put on clothes.

You never have to eat flies.

You can make antlers grow on does.

You can sow and grow seeds of pies. 

None of these statements are lies.

Right after I wrote this, and read it allowed to my brother, I said, "This is Stupid."

I never really liked pie. I LOVE CAKE. Never liked pie though. Except for the Oreo pie at bakers square, a restaurant that does not exist in Oklahoma. Best pie and only pie I like. 

Thumper, our rabbit, bit through a bunch of chords in my room today, after I found him after school. It was awesome. He made sure to take my phone charger and  bite it into 3 pieces. 

My birthday is coming up. All I wan't for my birthday right now is the best video game known to man. Ty the Tasmanian Tiger 2: Bush Rescue. Classic Game Cube game. Only like 15 bucks new on amazon. I'll probably buy it before the day of May of the thirty first of the hour of I don't care. Probably.

Today is officially the last day I will ever be 15 and 322/365 years old.

If you have read the about me thing, you may know that I am an animation freak. Love animation. 95% of my favorite movies are animated. Enjoy doing it myself, too. Had an idea not too long ago. Here's the rough idea (can't get the basic animation up because its exported in some weird format).

Pans across a view of black and white hills, black and white trees, black and white sun, everything black and white. Except for one something, maybe a bird, or a tree. Just one. One little object. Zooms into it, and if it's a tree, a leaf will fall off, and if its something else, I don't know, but the leaf will fall and fly a ways, hit the ground, and color will spread from it into the hills, the other trees, the sun, everything. Then I don't know what. Something funny will happen, probably.

Basic idea. It's fairly easy to make too, cant figure out how I'm going to get the color to spread, though.

And the joke of the day (always made up on the spot)!

Q- What did one trash can say to the other?
A- "You smell bad."

A Little Poem

I wonder where the world would be
If I didn't have to pee.

I might be off somewhere
Building a secret lair.

Maybe even singing happily
and skipping gleefully

But golly oh gee...
I just have to pee.

I will win.

Basically why I made this to try to beat my dad at getting more followers. he has something like 34. I have 1. I am going to win. And, I think I could make a pretty hilarious blog. Starting tomorrow. I'm tired right now.